“Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate that which they already have.” – Buddha
In July I ended my romantic relationship. It was a difficult decision to make as I really loved him, but we both had the gut feeling we would not be compatible long-term. As the void of loneliness appeared, a new layer of grief washed in the bigger questions: What is wrong with me? Am I lovable? Will I always be alone? And the worst one: am I running out of time to have children? I said a little prayer asking for love and support as I dredged through my new circumstances.
A week later I attended the naming of Lac Ernadene, a small salt lake where my Aunt has a cottage on. I learned about the vibrant woman who was my second-cousin Ernadene, an explorer and creative that choose her own path. The math told me she must have known my Dad, so I approached her widowed partner and asked if he remembered him. He and I spent about an hour talking about life, love, and neuroscience (of course) only to be interrupted by my sweet niece Esme planting a kiss on my forehead.
I felt a little spark of happiness begin to glow in my heart at that moment, I realized my prayers were answered and I was surrounded by love. The people around me quieted my doubts and fears. My family appreciates me for who I am, and they love me regardless. Although I don't have a boyfriend, I am not alone, and although they are not my kids, I am often surrounded by children. I am reminded that Love is always there should I choose to be open to it.
Monthly Mission: Let go of the agenda. Take a few breaths and tune into the present moment. Tune into your senses, and notice the sound’s, smells, and sensations that are happening in real-time.