Your self-worth is determined by you.
You don't have to depend on someone to tell you who you are.
Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash
I remember my high school friend told me he was ‘ugly’ after a particularly bad haircut. “That’s everybody’s problem but your’s” I replied. He was puzzled, but I elaborated “Listen, your hair is on your head, you will maybe see it 10 minutes a day, whereas everyone else has to look at your weird head all day, and if they don't like you, fuck them”. We laughed, but my oddball teenage advice had some merit; you can't fix a bad haircut, but my brilliant and funny friend was much more than a haircut. Which got me thinking, why do we place so much of our worth on other people's opinions?
In the past decade as the social media age took over, so did the trend of the influencer. No matter where you scroll, there is always someone wealthier, more attractive, more successful, and more ‘something’ than you. These so-called perfect people can arouse insecurities in those who are still learning who they are. When we stack that on top of the societal expectations that come from our family and our peers - there can be a lot of comparisons telling us we are ‘wrong'. I wanted to remind you that you are unique, and success is found by identifying what makes you special and nurturing that growth.
When I look back at my life I am so glad I ignored unsolicited opinion’s from well-intentioned people. I was told not to sit the way that I sit, even though my flexibility made me a gifted yogi. I was told standing up for myself made me a bad employee, even though it has made me a great entrepreneur. I could give countless more examples; but in the end, fitting in with others’ projected beliefs would have been a betrayal to myself. Self-Worth is not measured by what we do, but by the intention that motivates that action.
Homework: Each morning ask yourself:
What would a person who loves themselves do?
Whether you know what you’re unique contributions are or perhaps you are still figuring yourself out, there is an inner voice that can guide you. Believe in your abilities, dig deep and motivate your action’s from a place of self-love :)